Abundantly Financed
- It is only when looking back with the benefit of 20:20 hindsight
that you can recognize what is known as a life-changing moment. One such
moment seemed very close the other day as 80 stood in line at a local
store. Idly reading the promotional literature during the shuffle to the
checkout a poster snagged the eye - "Create Unlimited Financial
Abundance" it called in a siren voice. Well, you would be a fool to pass by a thing like that, so 80
grabbed a leaflet to learn more. Now it may well be true
that money cannot buy happiness but surely unlimited financial abundance
would help you to be miserable in comfort. Closer examination of the
leaflet revealed more - much more. Here was the chance to "Heal Your Body"
and "Build Your Self Esteem". All this could be obtained merely
by purchasing a series of audio cassettes marketed by Diviniti Publishing
Limited - who must be one of humankind's unsung benefactors to make such
such achievements possible. These were no ordinary tapes either but
"Powerful Very High Quality Holistic Hypnosis Cassettes". The reason they
are so special is that they "...combine the
very latest hypnotherapy techniques with state of the art digital
recording technology.." and furthermore, they
"......are much more effective than standard hypnosis cassettes in that
they are designed to work simultaneously with both sides of the brain." Sadly for 80 that transient moment of gullibilty/greed evaporated
as the checkout was reached. Don't all tapes work on both sides of the
brain - assuming no one has snuck up and severed your
corpus callosum?
Once the questions started they would not stop - and with it came the
certain knowledge that unlimited financial abundance was not coming 80's
way - short of a major lottery win - and if you think about it not even
then. In fact not even if 80 transformed into Bill Gates. It was time to visit
Divinitti's
website mentioned on the leaflet - here 80 learned that these tapes are
the work of Glenn Harrold, ex-musician and now clinical hypnotherapist -
and that they are bestsellers. There is also a lot of emphasis on the
aural quality of the tapes but not much depth on hypnosis itself. (An
interesting background to the subject of
hypnosis is here.) Perhaps a look
at the testimonials would help - that idea of "Unlimited Financial
Abundance" had not gone away entirely. None of the correspondents claimed
to be rolling in money which was disappointing but one, in a review by Amina
Khatib of Self helper directory, had this to say
"Glenn Harrold has produced an excellent tape combining a pleasant voice,
hypnotic background vocals, sound FX and music to enable you to become
completely relaxed and absorb all the positive affirmations to do with
creating unlimited financial abundance. So if you are one of those people
who always complain they will never make any money or that you are always
in debt, then what you need is to get rid of any negative, ‘limited’
thinking and accept the idea that you ‘deserve’ to prosper. This tape will
help you rid yourself of negative beliefs about money and help you change
your attitude and beliefs. "
The only evidence here of the promised "Unlimited Financial Abundance" is
the phrase itself - not very encouraging. How about the health claims?
"Heal Your Body" as the tape is known, seemed to work for this anonymous
writer from the UK-
"I am an Australian who came to the U.K. 9 months ago to live and work in
London. The pressures of London and working in a High Street Bank led me
to developing an internal growth which caused me physical pain and left me
completely lost and terrified. I seriously considered returning home, but
discovered your hypnotic tape and decided to give it a go.
After only a few months the growth had completely disappeared. It has also
changed my whole lifestyle - I am now enjoying my work, have unlimited
energy, and am healthy and prosperous. Thankyou for enchancing my life."
It is a pity this guy had such a bad time with his internal growth and
seriously considered returning home - although the UK does have pretty
good doctors he could have consulted - and thanks to the National Health
Service treatment would have been free - certainly a cheaper option than a
flight home or even an audio cassette or two. If you feel 80 sounds a
little unsympathetic you do have to wonder why the poor fellow did not see
a regular doctor before opting for hypnotherapy. Also, is the reader
supposed to get the impression that hypnotherapy caused this painful,
internal growth to just disappear? Do read through the other testimonials
to form your own judgement. Another point is whether this page should even
be called Testimonials as, out of the 73 or so quotes, 20 appear to be
from retailers with a vested interest in selling Divinitti's wares,
gushing about how well the tapes sell. Of these, 17 are booksellers and 11
of these are from one UK book store chain,
Waterstone's. Hardly the sort
of independent endorsement one is led to expect from a page called
Testimonials - perhaps Testimonials and Advertisements would be a more
honest title. (Much thanks to Jeremy for his invaluable input - and sharp
eyes.)
Reassuring Company
- When looking at practitioners that make
unconventional health claims it is often instructive to see what company
they keep. At the bottom of a page that the intro says has information on
how the hypnosis tapes work (it doesn't - bafflegab such as "These special sound
effects have been recorded at 60 b.p.m, and help to synchronise the left
and right hemispheres of the brain and create a very receptive learning
state." tells you nothing on that score) is a list of recommended reading.
Here you will find Mind Medicine by Uri Geller, the spoonbending conjuror,
and You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay (This is from her
website -
Recently dubbed "the closest thing to a living
saint" by the Australian media" and "Louise
was able to put her philosophies into practice when she was diagnosed with
cancer. She considered the alternatives to surgery and drugs and instead
developed an intensive program of affirmations, visualization, nutritional
cleansing and psychotherapy. Within six months, she was completely healed
of cancer".) A couple of familiar names on Hay's
pages are Sylvia Browne
and Deepak Chopra - as was said above you can tell
a lot about someone by the company they keep. Which is why 80 is
reluctantly passing up Unlimited Financial Abundance - better to keep the
money you have than give it to the likes of Glen Harrold.
Dangling Divination - Whilst trawling through a few other audio self-help
sites (of which there are a depressing number) one that popped up, the
Pendulum
Warehouse, introduced the concept of using a pendulum in conjunction with
your tapes for greater benefit. Here the subject of pendulums is covered
in great detail - most of it unverifiable as no references are supplied.
For instance "Ancient kings and queens such as Solomon, Sheba, Cleopatra
and other(sic) employed the use of pendulumists, who practiced the science of
Radiesthesia." If you want to know more about the "science" of Radiesthesia drop
the word into Google and see what crops up - "Radiesthesia uses the
vibrational fields of the human body to access information about objects
by resonance with their energy fields" and "A very old and highly
respected branch of extrasensory activity that relies on physical organs
for readings that they would ordinarily not give is radiesthesia--better
known as "dowsing" or "water-witching." Yes, we are back in the land of
claptrap. The Pendulum Warehouse goes one better than many others in
employing an effect that skeptics use to explain dowsing and the like,
the
ideomotor effect, and giving it a novel twist. Here it is not used to
dismiss movement of a dowsing rod, pendulum whatever, as "an involuntary
body movement evoked by an idea or thought process rather than by sensory
stimulation." but rather embraced as a hotline to your subconcious,
allowing the pendulum movement to reveal information in your mind
unavailable by other means. This is clever as any attempt at debunking by
involving the effect merely leads to a smile and an "I know - spooky isn't
it?" Meanwhile the trade in pendulums can thrive - some of them are
quite
intricate and cost $44.95 each but are cheaper in batches of a 500. But,
you say, surely any small, convenient weight on a piece of string will do.
Perhaps, but the artful Pendulum Warehouse puts it like this "The most
inexpensive pendulum can be made for less than a penny by tying a small
object such as a small nut on the end of a piece of string. Expensive
pendulums can be made from the finest of crystals. The crystals are
believed to possess certain energies that are compatible with the user's
energies to get the best results." Wonderful though the properties of such
pendulums are there is an easier way to riches and success than using them
for divination - why not manufacture them and sell them to mugs? Therein
lies Pendulum Warehouse's clever secret.
Disk Detour - In doing a search via Google on the genuinely mysterious
Phaistos Disk
recently a bewildering array of pages popped
up - some useful, some less
so. One that appeared and is worth a look is
World Mysteries. It is one of
the places on the web that someone perhaps wanting to know about the
Great Pyramid, Strange Artifacts, Ancient Writings and much more would
inquire. It is advisable to bring with you a sack of salt as a pinch is
not enough when reading a lot of the stuff featured. This site is
well laid out and easy to navigate - sadly the same cannot be said for the
ideas and theories explored and promoted here. The material is the
output of several contributing writers - most of whom seem to follow the
von Daniken school - ask a series of breathless (and unlikely) questions
and then steam ahead as if they were facts. Sadly, as the von Daniken
reference might imply, there is little in here that is original but it does make
a representative compendium. Any awkward facts tend to be dismissed as a
lot of naysaying by those miserable old skeptics. Here are some quotes
which make the point, but if you feel the selection to be unfair, out of
context or unrepresentative do take the time to read the originals. This
is from an Ancient Astronauts piece -
"For many modern skeptics the world’s oldest writings, on clay, stone and
papyrus, is simply myth. However, if we dismiss all of the ancient
literature and inscriptions - the Bible, the Koran, the Mahabharata, and
the thousands of clay tablets from Mesopotamia - as too incredible to
believe, we would still have to deal with the question of the physical
evidence. Who built the ancient megalithic structures? How were they
built? Why the practice of building pyramids at ancient sites all over
Earth for a period or time, and then suddenly abandon them? Who marked the
Earth’s surface with gigantic lines and figures? Who created the
astonishing artwork on Mars? Why and how were these things done? In this
space age, with it’s remarkable technological advances, it is becoming
apparent that the "miracles", and other seemingly supernatural events
reported in ancient texts, the megalithic constructions, and the enigmatic
lines and artwork over the Earth, resulted from an advanced technology
which was incomprehensible and indescribable by the ancient human
observers. On these pages we take the position that there is a reasonable
explanation, within natural law, for these mysteries."
First notice the unsupported implication that "modern skeptics" dismiss
"all of the ancient literature and inscriptions......as too incredible to
believe, we would still have to deal with the question of the physical
evidence." Studying the physical evidence and not believing everything
written without study (and a great deal of hard work) is a field obviously
unfamiliar to the writer - it is called
archaeology. The practice of building pyramids in various places and times
does indeed imply universal connections- they are known as the laws of physics
and explain that when first building large stone structures the pyramid
shape is the most stable. (and even the ancient Egyptians did not
get it
right first time.) The pyramids were not "suddenly abandoned" - the
societies that built them changed over time and found other means of
expression. "Who created the astonishing artwork on Mars?" To which the
only answer is, what astonishing artwork? Misinterpretations of natural
features are not astonishing artworks. And so on - it is easy to
understand why professional archaeologists do not often bother refuting
this sort of nonsense - to do so properly takes a lot of time and effort
and life is short.
A lot more time and effort than is taken firing off a stream of questions that to
80 seem to be the product of wilful ignorance. Mysteries in the
world are solved by hard work in the field and scholarship - speculation
certainly has its place but it does need to reined in by facts.
This is from the Great Pyramid of Giza article "The Great Pyramid is a
repository of universal standards, it is a model of the earth against
which any standard could be confirmed and corrected if necessary." This
was tosh when Piazzi Smyth dreamed it up in the 19th century and it still
is today. Apart from anything else, if the ancients (or whoever helped
them) were so advanced surely they could have made a "repository of
universal standards" of a more convenient size?
Geller's Magpie - If pseudoarchaeology palls after a while
try "My
Experience with Uri Geller" elsewhere on the site. This
incredible article, apparently written with Geller's approval, is worth
more analysis than time permits but there are a few points worth noting -
again do take the time to read it yourself. As a study of wishful thinking
and credulity it is hard to beat. The
source of Geller's "powers" are extraterrestrial beings according to a
book quoted - they were called Spectra and chose Geller to do their work.
From here on in things get even odder, as in this description of Geller's
appearance on the Johnny Carson Show. The fact that Carson is an amateur
conjuror may not have helped Uri's "powers" that night - nor did the surprise
attendance of James Randi who can easily duplicate any of Geller's parlor
tricks.
"In Geller's book 'My Story' there is a photo with the caption: 'Failing
on the Johnny Carson show.' Why go on one of the most watched TV shows in
the U.S. and FAIL...if you are a trickster? Your tricks should have
worked. The eyes of the world were on him and the psychic was nervous.
Plus, Carson (an amateur magician) was prejudiced by his advisors. This
contributed to a negative environment and Geller was unsuccessful. Barry
Bonds does not hit a home run every time he steps to the plate. This
indicates, to me, that Uri Geller is human and not deceiving anyone"
The reason that Geller failed is that his tricks were transparently obvious
to Randi and likely Carson. The idea that his alien-derived super powers
failed because he was nervous, or Carson was prejudiced and contributed to
a "negative environment" is ludicrous. The old chestnut that such powers can be
derailed by the very presence of a skeptic or disbeliever is the same lame
excuse dragged out by every failed mindreader, medium and faithhealer when
cornered. Some powers......
The writer does not help his cause with a surprisingly bitter and
inaccurate ad hominem assault on Randi - but here even this
gullible writer lets slip a little sense.
"What does being a magician have anything to do with skepticism? Here is
the answer: Magicians, unfortunately, do not believe in magic. To them,
there is (sic) no phenomena...everything is a trick and everyone is a conman
trying to take your money." Close enough.........
There is also a sad and touching side to the writer which even a hardened old
curmudgeon like 80 finds moving - this is when he describes his little box
full of mementos of the "Geller Effect"
" There are 8 Flair pens with their pocket clips in various positions up
to 90 degrees; 2 have broken off completely.+There is a set of 10 keys and
8 of them are bent.+ 7 spoons and 2 forks are bent.+ A thick, kitchen
drawer handle is very bent.
+ Something sliced through a large pair of metal scissors chopping off the
ends. The cuts, an inch and a half from the tips, are smooth, not jagged.+
A sample, metal, Social Security card is warped.+ There is also a broken
off television antenna"
At this point it is perhaps best to tiptoe away leaving the writer with
his
magpie hoard of Geller
trinkets and his memories ......................
Miscellany
-
Now and again the world of real archaeology addresses the tidal wave of
nonsense peddled about the subject in bookstores and, above all, on the
web. (One regular source of accurate information that 80 recommends highly
is Doug's Archaeology Site) Now the latest issue of
Archaeology magazine
has the full text online of "Seductions of Pseudoarchaeology:
Pseudoscience in Cyberspace." This piece gives the background to another
fine web presence combating the daft ideas of armchair archaeologists -
"In the Hall of Maat" whose brief runs thus "The aim of this site is to
provide a well reasoned case for the mainstream version of ancient
history. We will present articles that validate our true heritage and that
dispute the proposals used to support the belief in a lost civilization
that seeded the familiar ancient cultures of the world." This is an
attractively designed site that tries to redress the balance between uninformed (and
often lucrative) speculation and the genuine study of ancient
civilizations - and makes a fine job of it. Also mentioned in the magazine
article is The Wild Side of Pseudoarchaeology Page. Between Doug's, Maat
and this site one can learn to appreciate the fascinating and mysterious
world that is our shared past without recourse to fantasy.
Want to join in with your New Age acquaintances but hold back because you
fear making a fool of yourself? Get the doubletalk to go with the dippy
ideas! Go to How To Talk New Age and you will be spouting gibberish in no
time! From Akashic Records to Crystals to Numerology to Yin/Yang it is all
there - and all delightfully irreverent and fun. A couple of examples are
in order
A is for ASTROLOGY
ASTROLOGY uses the movement and positions of the planets to tell people
what they are like and what is going to happen to them.
For astrological purposes the Earth is considered to be the center of the
solar system (Well, Astrology isn't exactly an exact science).
A person who studies Astrology is called an Astrologer. Being an
Astrologer is not easy. It takes hard work, great sensitivity, a clear,
analytical mind, and the ability to keep a straight face.
Astrology gives people an explanation of why things are happening to them.
People appreciate this because then they can blame everything on the
planets.
"Thank God, I thought it was my fault. It was just my Mars conjuncting
Jupiter."
and naturally -
P is for PYRAMIDS
PYRAMIDS are pointy things made out of stone. They are found in Egypt and
many other parts of the world.
After several thousand years people have discovered that the Pyramids were
built for something other than dead Pharaohs. Pyramids sharpen razor
blades, make cigarettes milder, improve the taste of wine, and make for
better sex and meditation, which pretty much offers something for
everyone.
Pyramids are obviously a great substitute for hard work and patience, so
many New Age People are very fond of Pyramids.
Written by Mick Winter and illustrated by Bob Johnson - this dictionary is
also available as a downloadable ebook - great stuff.
Quotes
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house
and four people died."
Stephen Wright
"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;
and the pessimist fears this is true."
James Branch Cabell
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what
the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be
replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another
theory which states that this has already happened."
Douglas Adams, in
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"To understand the things that are at our door is the best preparation for
understanding those things that lie beyond."
Hypatia
"I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if
He didn't." Jules Renard
"Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday."
Woody Allen
