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Miniature Pet Crud - June 02

 Perilous Pool Hall  
There are lots of websites dedicated to warning folk of dire eventualities - such things as chemtrails, secret reptilian hierarchies, alien abductions, polar shift (see Planet X below). On the scale of likelihood 80 would rate these as "not very". If the people that pump this stuff out want to really give everyone the willies they should try looking up and out - to our backyard, the Solar System. One collision from a hurtling space rock could make their doomsday warnings seem a little, shall we say, trivial. The BBC  amongst many others, has information on a recent near hit from a piece of cosmic debris. Possibly influenced by the World Cup the size of the asteroid was compared to a football pitch (a few countries still use the term soccer). 2002MN to give the official designation was only spotted AFTER the close encounter, a fact that 80 finds less than reassuring. The BBC page reckons (they don't explain how) if this particular space clod had struck our planet the devastation would have been on the level of the 1908 Tunguska event which flattened 2000 square kilometers of forest. The effect of a strike on a major city can only be shuddered at. 80 has a recurring nightmare of humankind, so busy arguing with itself over which faction has the better god, or whatever, when the debate is cut short by the impact of an asteroid in the back of its stiff neck. To learn more of the dangers of these loose cannons in our solar system, and what little is being done about it see Spaceguard UK  plus the Australian Spaceguard Survey and the Planetary Society pages dedicated to the late Gene Shoemaker. Last but not least is NASA's Near Earth Object Program.

X=KBO?

On matters extraterrestrial there is speculation in some circles as to whether there is a tenth planet, Planet X , in our solar system and also whether news of its existence is, surprise surprise, being suppressed. There is a well organized  site summarizing the Planet X scene here. It should be a good time for Planet X adherents for with the advances in telescope technologies Solar System objects beyond the orbit of Pluto are being discovered with increasing frequency. These trans-Neptunian and Kuiper Belt Objects have rather more in common with icy comets than the usual idea of a planet. (In fact there is a movement to reclassify Pluto as a mere trans-Neptunian Object, its moon Charon too). So far nothing has been found in these far reaches that would fit the bill as Planet X but with the amount of attention now being given to the outer Solar System something could conceivably turn up. Although 80 would bet, if found, there will be no alien civilization as promoted by some afficionados as inhabiting Nibiru, as they term the tenth planet. There is also a school of thought that Nibiru is actually a Galactic Federation Flagship (!). or even dear old Mars . Take a pinch of Velikovsky, add a dash of Gene Roddenberry and ferment with a deep misunderstanding of Sumerian mythology, sprinkle with conspiracy theory and voila - you have produced the Planet X/Nibiru dish. Sadly in 80's view this particular culinary creation is indigestible. (Thanks to Brian C. the man who alerted 80 to  Cat ESP  (a fine satirical rebuff to the Pet Psychic kind of drivel) and whose musings on Starwars and movie merchandising may be found here ).

 Animal Crackers

Occasionally, when 80 has had a surfing surfeit, it can be enlightening to tune into a factual TV channel - The Discovery Channel and its various offspring often passing a pleasant hour or two. With this in mind 80 settled down to watch Animal Planet with hopes of a good wildlife documentary perhaps or a piece on animal behavior or natural history. All thoughts of an instructive and entertaining evening went straight out of the window as the channel's latest hot offering was aired - Pet Psychic. This program is an attempt to wring one bit more out of the whole psychic/medium scam. Sonya Fitzpatrick's clever twist is to communicate telepathically not with humans, living or dead, but with their pets. A short viewing shows the same old cold reading techniques being applied. (Applied to the pet owners, that is, not the pets - you would have to be psychic or something to do that, surely?) This show is no worse than similar trash from John Edward and others - what 80 finds particularly sad is that an apparently factual tv channel chooses to promote it. As for Sonya Fitzpatrick, who manages to project a persona of endearing, sincere, caring English dottiness, she is either deluded and really thinks she is talking to dear departed/troubled Fido or she is manipulating the credulous and simple for her own gain. 80 tends to the latter view. To use a natural empathy for animals to help them and their owners with problems is not objectionable - to claim that you are using paranormal powers to do so and cashing in on it certainly is. The existence of a very small print disclaimer on the Animal Planet website describing the show as for "entertainment purposes and is not intended to convey medical advice or other factual information" does not excuse the deception.

Essential Essays

Many of the sites that have been featured in previous issues have since disappeared, such is the ephemeral nature of the Web. Some have suddenly restricted access, perhaps in an attempt to generate income or even for fear of ridicule (who would do such a thing? ) But yet others have thrived and grown, some deservedly so. One such is Language Miniatures mentioned in Ghosts UFOs Boo Boo as Lilliputian Essays back in April 2000. It is a collection of short pieces about the English language, its grammar, vocabulary, history and intriguing oddities. There are also enlightening excursions into other languages. What all these essays have in common is a pleasant, informative style that communicates superbly William Z Shetter's obvious knowledge and love of the subject. If you wish to dip in 80 recommends these titles, The Language of Paradise- Myths of the confusion of tongues British Left Waffles on Falklands - Why do some headlines sound so funny? and, particularly fascinating for the skeptic, All of This is True - But you'll have to take my word for it . In April 2000 there were 36 essays, now there are 90 and every one a gem - highly recommended.

Astrocrud

Another site maybe worthy of your attention is the uncompromisingly named Astrocrud. This takes an equally uncompromising look at the "scholarship" of the likes of Graham Hancock, Robert Bauval and other pseudoarchaeologists and in particular the math behind their claimed planetary alignments and other badly flawed evidence supposedly based on astronomy. Stephen Tonkin, the site's creator has this to say -
"To those who wish to tar me with the sobriquet 'debunker' (a pejorative term when used by the conspiracy theorists, etc.), I joyously plead guilty – utter bunkum deserves nothing other than to be debunked."
A sentiment with which 80 is wholly in sympathy. Also included on this site is 30 Flaws of Argumentation  - a list, with examples, of the devices used by  pseudoscientists in promulgating their theories and discoveries with some good examples.

Chosen Racists

Now and again 80 will come across a website that is so offensively stupid, so bigoted, so ignorant that the possibility of a parody has to be considered. Yourgoingto hell.com  , regrettably still extant, was one such featured in Dinosaur Hell Ark in April 2001 as Hell in a Bucket. Now here is Kingdom Identity Ministries which is, if anything, worse. It is at once ludicrous for the sad attempt at biblical "learning", and frightening for the intolerance and racism demonstrated. The one good thing about the Web and free speech is that at least these morons are visible and their ignorant ravings can be countered and in 80's case laughed at. But the laughter is hollow - people holding the beliefs and values promoted on these pages are an affront - even, and perhaps especially, to other christians. The cartoon for Liberals Only ranks alongside the trash published by the Third Reich and  shows a similar mind set. Click on the Seedline and Race link if you need any further evidence. Equally unbelievable is the sad plea for White Christian Ladies Only to join their cult. Here is a short selection from their Doctrinal Statement of Beliefs -
WE BELIEVE the White, Anglo-Saxon, Germanic and kindred people to be God's true, literal Children of Israel. Only this race fulfills every detail of Biblical Prophecy and World History concerning Israel and continues in these latter days to be heirs and possessors of the Covenants, Prophecies, Promises and Blessings YHVH God made to Israel. This chosen seedline making up the "Christian Nations" (Gen. 35:11; Isa. 62:2; Acts 11:26)
WE BELIEVE that the Man Adam (a Hebrew word meaning: ruddy, to show Blood, flush, turn rosy) is father of the White Race only. As a son of God (Luke 3:38), made in His likeness (Gen. 5:1), Adam and his descendants, who are also the children of God (Psalm 82:6; Hos. 1:10; Rom. 8:16; Gal. 4:6; I John 3:1-2), can know YHVH God as their creator.
WE BELIEVE that the United States of America fulfills the prophesied (II Sam. 7:10; Isa. 11:12; Ezek. 36:24) place where Christians from all the tribes of Israel would be regathered.
When our Savior returns to restore righteous government on the earth, there will be a day of reckoning when the kingdoms of this world become His (Rev. 11:15; Isa. 9:6-7) and all evil shall be destroyed (Isa. 13:9; Mal. 4:3; Matt. 13:30, 41-42; II Thes. 2:8). His elect Saints will be raised immortal at His return (I Cor. 15:52-53; I Thes. 4:16; Rev. 20:6) to rule and reign with Him as kings and priests (Rom. 8:17; II Tim. 2:12; Rev. 5:10; Exodus 19:6; Dan. 7:18, 27). 
In 80's view it is this last quote that is the kicker - "His elect Saints will be raised immortal at his return to rule and reign with Him as kings and priests". So, this is what it is all about - they hope to be Jesus' henchmen when he comes back to take the place over. Wow! will he be proud at the rows of ignorant, racist bigots standing there, haloes in hand, ready to help him rule. He'd better not let on he is jewish.................
To take the taste of brimstone and prejudice out of your mouth click here. Also as an antidote do look at The Anti-Defamation League's take on Identity ministries, called Poisoning the Web, and this page on Theocratic Hate.

Flying Fantasy
And finally...............from the pen of David Hatcher Childress (see Past View - OOPARTS Evilution Geode) comes this gem of a page on......wait for it... Ancient Egyptian Flying Machines . The text and lavish illustrations on this page can only serve to confirm 80's original opinion of Childress' scholarship and learning. Here are "actual photographs" of Egyptian carvings showing gliders, submarines, helicopters and even perhaps a zeppelin! This is all backed up by an extract from Childress' magisterial work,The Anti-Gravity Handbook, which also features fascinating information on ancient Indian flying craft known from legend as Vimanas which are also detailed, if somewhat disjointedly, here.

Quotes

ABSURDITY, n.  A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with  one's own opinion. Ambrose Beirce, The Devil's Dictionary
"Education ent only books and music - it's asking questions, all the time. There are millions of us, all over the country, and no one, not one of us, is asking questions, we're all taking the easiest way out." Arnold Wesker from "Roots", 1959
“The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye; the more light you pour upon it, the more it will contract.”  Oliver Wendell Holmes
Some Quotes for Kingdom Identity Ministries
“No man shall be compelled to frequent or support any religious worship.”  Thomas Jefferson
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction."  Blaise Pascal
"Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight."  Mark Twain
"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that WE are the ones that need help?"  Mark Twain
 
            

                                                                                                  

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