There is a world where the everyday laws of physics do not apply, where sound can travel in a vacuum, where wrecked cars always explode, where........... ok you have guessed it, we are talking movies. 80 enjoys escapist entertainment as much as the next bigot but the relentless repetition of the same cliched errors gets a little wearing after a while. Human beings have been flying in space for the last 40 odd years and yet movies showing the way that spacecraft actually maneuver can be counted on the fingers of one foot. Futuristic space battles will not resemble a dogfight between aircraft from the second World War. The laser beams fired will not be visible pencils of light......these and many other points are picked up on in two informative and amusing web sites.
The first is from Phil Plait's Bad Astronomy page featured previously (see Past View Hollow Fox Abduction - also note he now has a much expanded Moon Hoax page). He has a section devoted to various movies including Space Cowboys, Armageddon and Mission to Mars. Plait has kindly split his reviews into spoiler and non-spoiler versions for those who have yet see the movies featured. A link on this site leads to the wonderfully titled Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics from Intuitor.com, whose mission is summed up as follows "Technonerds go to movies strictly for entertainment and, of course, the most entertaining part comes after the movie when they can dissect, criticize, and argue the merits of every detail. However, when supposedly serious scenes totally disregard the laws of physics in blatantly obvious ways it's enough to make us retch. The motion picture industry has failed to police itself against the evils of bad physics. This page is provided as a public service in hopes of improving this deplorable matter." 80 hastens to add that you don't have to be a technonerd (?) to cringe at typical Hollywood howlers.
There are a few short but sweet movie reviews including The Matrix, an old favorite for 80. On the unlikely use of comatose humans as a giant computer's power supply ISMP has this to say "We just can't buy the explanation of why the computer system bothers to maintain not only the simulation but humanity. Supposedly, the computer system needs people as a power source. This makes no sense. The food fed to humans would have far more energy content than the meager power available from humans. It would require even more energy to run the food delivery system not to mention maintain the slime tubs. Why would the machines bother? Surely there'd be a more effective way to extract energy from the food. But wait! It gets worse. Liquefied dead humans are fed back to the living ones. The movie comes dangerously close to implying that the computer/energy system is a giant perpetual motion machine. This is clearly impossible according to the second law of thermodynamics and likewise impossible for us to dismiss lightly.To cover itself, the movie throws in a quick mention that the human energy source powering the machines is combined with a source of fusion. This is like getting on a 747 and having the captain explain in great detail that the plane is rubber band powered, then add that it also has four jet engines. Guess which power source gets it off the ground, duh."
80 couldn't agree more. The movie, whilst entertaining, (leaving aside the wooden Keanu Reeves), did not fulfil its initial promise - perhaps The Matrix 2, now in production, will have what it takes. (The review of Star Wars Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace manages to step out of its scientific persona long enough to ask George Lucas to kill off Jar Jar Binks - a sentiment with which 80 is in complete accord. In fact there are a surprising number of websites advocating this course of action!)
What springs to mind when you hear the words Feng Shui? Perhaps an ancient Chinese philosophy that manipulates or harnesses chi energy to promote a more harmonious environment? How about ancient Chinese philosophy battened on to by uncritical New Agers and other, sharper types who rook the gullible by charging $500 for telling you to move a flowerpot? Guess which way 80 tends? (That's enough rhetorical questions for now.) Obviously certain ways of designing buildings and the placement of fittings and furniture within will have an effect on those living and working inside that building. This is not a function of some unproven chi energy - it is common sense. Southward facing windows ( is my hemisphere showing?) will give the interior of the building more natural light thereby creating pleasanter surroundings - there is no need for mysticism. A glance at the entry in The Skeptic's Dictionary is, as usual, most enlightening.
For balance there is also the American Feng Shui Institute which has an interesting stance. After the introductory waffle "Find out how to enhance your awareness of the law and order of the universe and the power of nature, while also gaining the knowledge of how to manipulate your surroundings such that you make an impact on your finances, health, and emotions." there comes this " the American Feng Shui Institute is the only center in the West that is dedicated to teaching the practice of Feng Shui as a scientific discipline. It is where reason replaces ritual, and the ancient tradition of utilizing Feng Shui as a tool for creating harmony, good health, wealth, and peace of mind continues." Feng Shui as scientific discipline? Oh please. Even less palatable is this, " In 1995, the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) joined the list of mainstream institutions that teach classes based on information and materials supplied by the Institute. Learn step-by-step how to position yourself in the natural order of the universe to increase your wealth, enjoy better health and a happier life. Having graduated hundreds and hundreds of students from all parts of the world, the American Feng Shui Institute is the foremost center for learning about traditional Chinese Feng Shui, Astrology, and other Chinese esoteric arts." Have UCLA lost it completely -what next, an honors degree in spoon-bending?
(That's enough quotes from this lot, judging from their copyright notice they seem a touchy, litigious bunch - not too much natural harmony there then.)
More to 80's taste was a recent news item that has sadly disappeared from the CNN.com site. Posted June 28th 2001 this told of
"A type of mosquito known to carry disease in Asia has reached Southern California in shipments of an increasingly popular plant called
'lucky bamboo.' " Now why is this so-called lucky bamboo
increasingly popular? Feng Shui of course!
80 wonders what the ancient Chinese philosophical stance is regarding
Asian Tiger mosquitoes? Mike Shaw, from a goverment pest control agency had this to say
"There have been no documented cases of disease in the United States transmitted by the Asian tiger mosquitoes, but viruses carried by the insects have caused serious infections in Asia.
It's not a danger now, but the possibility is there," said Shaw, director of operations for the Greater Los Angeles County Vector Control District... "This is probably one of the biggest transmitters of diseases out
there." The CNN piece continues" Lucky bamboo resembles bamboo but is not a member of the bamboo family. Considered a symbol of good luck, it's often used in decorating by practitioners of feng shui, the Chinese art of arranging objects to enhance positive forces.
Lucky bamboo shipped to the United States arrives packed in water, where mosquitoes can breed. Pest control officials were alerted to the problem last week, when mosquitoes flew out of a shipment from South China as agricultural inspectors opened it at the Port of Los Angeles."
Ah the West has so much to learn from Feng Shui............................now where did I put that harmonious DDT?
Update - you can't keep a good story down - the Bamboo mosquitoes surface again in the SF Gate news dated July 23rd.
Cryptozoology - a lovely word that just trips off the tongue - but what does it mean? The Oxford dictionary gives us this,
" the search for and study of creatures (e.g. the Loch Ness monster) whose supposed existence is evidenced by tradition, unsubstantiated reports,
etc." (To call it six syllables of wishful thinking is a cheap jibe and one
80 will resist.) Let us see what others make of this field of study. As ever
The Skeptics Dictionary puts things succinctly, "
literally, the study of hidden animals. It is the study of such creatures as the Australian bunyips, Bigfoot, the chupacabra, and the Loch Ness monster. It is not a recognized branch of the science of zoology. Cryptozoology relies heavily upon testimonials and circumstantial evidence in the form of legends and folklore, and the stories and alleged sightings of mysterious beasts by indigenous peoples, explorers, and
travelers." A lighter take on the subject is The Enigma Cryptozoo
with its irresistible Weird Predators Petting Zoo and
Missing Links Primate
Center, featuring, amongst others, Yeti,
Bigfoot and, most intriguingly,
Oliver the Mutant
Chimp!
A large and well designed site is Cryptozoology.com, with many pages devoted to the regular entourage of Nessie, Bigfoot etc. but also far less publicized
"cryptids" (their term - and one
80 rather likes) such as the
Marozi, a sort of lesser spotted lion, the dog-faced
Bunyip
of Australia (beloved of
The Skeptic's Dictionary) and the enchantingly named
God Bear. Whilst to a hardened old observer like
80 this site too often strays over the border into Gullible's Travels there is much interesting, amusing and apparently well-researched information here. For example the God
Bear has another and less dignified name amongst the folk of northern Kamchatka (Russia), the bears purported home territory, and this is
Irkuiem , meaning "trousers pulled
down". Apparently "The Korjak and Chukchi natives described a beast with forelegs far longer than the hind, and a bulge of fat between the hind legs which often reaches to the ground, giving the appearance of a pulled-down pair of pants, and the creature its
name."
A good cop-out that avoids tortured links between unrelated material is a section labeled miscellany - such as the one in which we now find ourselves. Here is an unharmonious (non-Feng Shui) rag-bag of sites and pages that have caught 80's eye recently. A while ago 80 took a quick look at the strange and paranoid world of Chemtrails but a new site has joined the many already out there - from the evocatively named Beaver County Militia, alerting us all to the United Nations/New World Order/Amish alliance. Alarmed? You should be. Here are a few of the symptoms inflicted on folk by this ungodly plot "Symptoms include, shortness of breath and profuse sweating after heavy physical exertion, abdominal distention and a feeling of fullness after eating a big meal, "itchy" neck and back immediately after getting a haircut, and extreme headache, sometimes termed "brain-freeze" after eating ice cream. Too many have experienced the same symptoms for this to be coincidence, and you may have already experienced these same symptoms yourself." Check this site out and be grateful for the public service the Beaver County Militia is performing.
Next stop is the Shoes of the Fisherman page. These folk are peddling beach sandals that "act like oversized rubber stamps, leaving the message JESUS LOVES YOU: In the sand, On sidewalks and broadwalks, On pool decks, Any place footprints can be seen." (A soul/sole joke may be inserted here) The only thing it does not say is if this footwear enables you to walk on water.
In common with many countries Australia has relaxed the rigor of its patent system. In order to illustrate the shortcomings of the new system a Melbourne man took out a patent of his own - "Freelance patent attorney John Keogh was issued with an Innovation Patent for a "circular transportation facilitation device" within days of the new patent system being invoked in May. But he has no immediate plans to patent fire, crop rotation or other fundamental advances in civilisation." said theAge.com. Amusing though this may be there is certainly a financial pressure in many countries to make patenting cheaper, a side effect of which is surely leading to a "dumbing down" As Keogh said "he patented the wheel to prove the innovation patent system was flawed because it did not need to be examined by the patent office." We need more Keoghs to point out such daftness wherever it occurs. (Thanks to Brian C.)
Certified
Stupid is a site offering what many may consider a quite reasonable
proposition " In American society we have only two
classes of citizens: adults and minors. Adults have all the rights and
responsibilities the law allows or requires. Minors are denied certain
rights and responsiblities until they grow older and become adults. This is
inadequate. There are many adults who have demonstrated through acts of
astonishing stupidity that they are incapable of handling their
responsiblities. As minors have certain few rights not enjoyed by
adults, certifying any adult as a minor is unacceptable. For this reason
I propose the addition of a third class: the Certified Stupid."
This is not just
confined to the US and 80 is sure that even
the most kind-hearted amongst us can think of, at the very least, one or two
candidates........................
......and finally a most enjoyable little piece by Steve Mirsky in Scientific American
about the sad demise of the British Flying Saucer
Bureau. Active since 1953 the Bureau has had to shut down owing to the lack of sightings reported. Many reasons are given for this - one from the
Bureau itself - and a raft of facetious ones from Mirsky.
"The tenets of skepticism do not require an advanced degree, as most successful used-car buyers demonstrate. The whole idea of a democratic application of skepticism is that everyone should have the essential tools to effectively and constructively evaluate claims to knowledge. All science asks is to employ the same levels of skepticism we use in buying a used car or in judging the quality of analgesics or beer from their TV commercials."
Carl Sagan, from The Demon-Haunted World-Science as a Candle in the Dark See
Reading from Number 80
"The Universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
Eden Philpotts
