Chemtrails Cydonuts
Loons
-
Nov 00
(and Creationists)
Chemtrails
Do you ever get that feeling that there is not
enough to worry about? I don't mean the usual stuff like money, health and
work but the big things such as global warming, supervolcanoes, asteroid
impact, viral epidemics, pollution etc. all of which are supported by pretty
good evidence. For some people even these things don't cut it so they have
to find something else. It has to be something easily seen (that rules out
UFOs or ghosts) and just technical enough to play upon general scientific
ignorance. Right, you've got it - airplane vapor trails!! Why on earth did
we not latch onto this before? We might not have done but others have - but
please call them chemtrails - that's the buzz
word amongst the conspiracy theorists. The boring scientific description of
vapor trails (also known as condensation or contrails) from the Academic
Press Dictionary of Science and Technology is this......
...a cloudlike streamer that is frequently
observed behind aircraft flying in clear, cold, humid air; the moving
aircraft disturbs particles of ice or water vapor, causing a pressure
reduction above the wing surfaces which, when combined with water vapor in
the engine exhaust gases, tends to condense, leaving a visible trail of
condensed water vapor.
.....which seems to cover things nicely - or
does it? Not according to a rash of websites that have appeared over the
last year or so - websites which we will not be surprised to learn have
links with some other of 80's interests.
(Astrology, UFOs and assorted bunkum).
Habitat
First up is Contrail
Connection with a well presented site replete with many pictures of
vapor trails including Photo
of the Month, which when 80 looked was from
Austin, Texas. To the untutored eye (mine) these pics don't look very
threatening - in fact they don't look very interesting at all - ah, but of
course this is just on the surface. At the top of the page are the questions
" Normal? Harmful? Pollution? Decide for yourself
". To be able to decide obviously information is needed, and not the
type provided by any old Dictionary of Science and Technology. Luckily a
link on Contrail Connection leads to the intriguingly named Project
Habitat, and it is here where the chemtrail paranoia is laid out for us.
If you think paranoia is too extreme a term here is the first
paragraph..........
"So, you haven't yet figured out the
airborne conditioning-agent release program that is being operated by the
government. I'll give you some hints, but first I'll give you a little
information about myself. I'm a retired government scientist with an
advanced degree in one of the health-related disciplines. I do not use
my real name for fear of retaliation, either against me, or against members
of my family. I always try to route my e-mail communications so that
they appear to come from another source, usually from one somewhere within
the government. Sometimes I use the internet resources of the public
library - whatever it takes to hide my true identity and confuse those who
don't want the sort of information I possess to fall into the public's
hands."
As I said - paranoid. After this our nameless
writer (let's call him X - I think he would rather like that) sets out
the basic thesis which I shall try to summarize here. From X's contacts in
military and government agencies he and he alone has pieced together the
truth. There is a plan to reduce the world population to 450 - 500 million
(why that particular quantity is not explained) and more specifically
to turn the USA into an uninhabited (at least by humans) nature park and
playground. The whole dastardly plot would be realized by using chemicals in
contrails (see - chemtrails!) to condition the US population in order that
influenza becomes lethal to all. For the resistant few (and only as a last
resort of course) anthrax would finish the job disguised as a flu
inoculation program. Eventually the USA (and the rest of the planet?) would
be a playground for the global elite (who they?).
So now you know. Now what
are you going to do about it - apart from wondering about X's mental state?
Rolling about laughing is an option except a lot of folk are already
skittish about inoculation. I can't help but think that if someone, elderly
or in poor health, believed this farrago of drivel, refused a flu jab and
subsequently died from the disease the blame belongs with X and his fellow
idiots.
(thanks to Eric Krieg)
Mind Control
But X's is by no means the only take on
vapor trail fantasies. One Jeff Rense, a
radio talk show host, has a mass of links to, amongst much other wild and
wacky stuff, chemtrails. One item is by Mike
Blair which claims " the strange vapor-like
trails, or 'chemtrails' from jets flying high above much of the nation and
elsewhere in the world are part of a massive top-secret military research
and development project, possibly linked to the United Nations......."
Whoah, hold it there a moment. By "strange vapor-like trails" does
he mean - gasp - vapor trails? Then why not say so. Also the idea of the
United Nations (now there's an oxymoron for you) collaborating on such a
project is incredible to say the least. For something this big it could only
involve the Security Council - I find the idea of, say, the US, China,
Russia and France working together on "military research and
development" just about as likely as the Pope admitting an affair with
Madonna.
But wait, Blair has more. Various highly qualified but unnamed
researchers (Y and Z I shouldn't wonder) have found chemtrails contain
"barium salt mixtures" and "polymer fibers". Whilst
there is no mention of the flu virus (I am sure that it cannot be ruled out)
the effects are apparently still pretty nasty. "It
is believed that the combination of barium salt mixture and polymer fibers
are responsible for the recent nationwide epidemic increase in cases of
asthma, allergies, and upper respiratory system illnesses....".
Well, if that is true we can stop blaming car and truck exhaust pollution
and drive along with a clear conscience - what a relief. But wait - we
don't know yet why this stuff is being sprayed. According to Blair, and
other assorted scaremongers, among the applications is the
"cloaking" of aircraft, ie making them invisible to radar and the
naked eye. Any German WWII fighter pilot would find this information
fascinating. One of the main giveaways of the position of the US high
altitude daylight bombers was to follow the line of a vapor trail and there
at the end was your Flying Fortress target. Even if cloaked , I think flying
around with what amounts to a bloody great finger pointing straight at your
aircraft is not terribly bright. Still, the world of the chemtrails theorist
is not a place for logic or critical thinking.
In common with, for example, quack remedies, the
chemtrails have a huge range of applications including "decontamination
and detection of biological weapons...weather modification as a military
weapon (I can see it would be a mite cumbersome as a personal weapon)
and directed energy (for space warfare). Most worrying of all is the
possibility of " a super-MK mind control program
". What MK stands for is not mentioned but amongst all the other
revelations I am prepared to overlook such a minor omission, although I
suggest Major Kook might cover it nicely. So next time you look up into the
wide blue yonder and see vapor trails, hold your breath, resist all efforts
at mind control - and above all don't worry.
Cydonuts
A while ago 80
cast a somewhat jaundiced eye on the Face on Mars
crowd (Aliens About
Face) including Richard Hoagland and his
fellow fantasists. A site that has taken a closer interest in those who
believe the Cydonia region of the Red Planet is cluttered with alien
artifacts is the wonderfully named Cydonuts.
Here is a not so gentle look at the whole sorry mess of second rate B movie
cliches perpetuated by the various Monuments on Mars groups and links to
many sites on the subject. But Cydonuts is not a single-minded site and has
room to take a pop at UFOs, The Second Coming Project (would you believe
cloning a new Messiah?) alien abductees and more - definitely worth a look.
Why there is even a link to Blair's above-mentioned chemtrail maunderings.
Update
Sadly, last time 80 looked the Cydonuts page was missing in action
Loon
I must also mention the evocatively named Quintessence
of the Loon " This site is devoted to
weirdness and madness on the World Wide Web, and each week I add more links
to places so bizarre that you will think I am making it up." So
says the site's creator Peter Bowditch,
self-styled Master of Lunacy. With links to,
and commentary on, such varied subjects as Brain
Transplantation, Holographic Repatterning
and the Palaeolithic Diet Page. Also of note is
a piece on the Living
on Light charlatan, Jasmuheen
(real name Ellen Greve of Brisbane) with her Breatharian
claptrap. This women claims to receive all her nourishment from light alone
(plus the money from the books and CDs she peddles). Fine, I for one would
love to test her so-called ability but, if carried out under rigorous
scientific conditions, it would inevitably lead to her demise - as it did
for a young woman called Verity Linn in 1999 (see Independent on Sunday Oct
17th 1999) amongst others. Again here is an example of what at first seems
just cranky garbage but which can lead the the gullible and the
trusting to lose their health and their lives. And that is far from funny.
Killjoy
Not wanting to end on a solemn note do go to Capalert
for Christian fundamentalist film reviews - the idea of someone forcing
themselves to sit through The
Blair Witch Project and listing the offensive items found is quite
bizarre. Did you know Halloween decorations are an
"Offense to God" ? - no I thought not. This sort of
po-faced tut-tutting is amusing but let's hope these people are never in a
position to force their views on others - constant reruns of Mary Poppins
fits MY personal vision of hell. The review of South
Park- Bigger, Longer and Uncut almost caused them to overdose on
righteous indignation (and me to fall off my chair laughing). I note that Mars
Attacks only presented two instances of - " readily noticable
drinking of ostensibly alcoholoic (sic) beverage", proving the old
adage that you can put your trust in the Lord but also use your spell
checker. Hey, CAP - if you don't
like a movie then don't watch it!! (Late news - beware
of what you say to capalert - 80 has it on
very good authority that like all bigots they are extremely
touchy and cannot stand criticism - but please don't let this deter you from
commenting on their site).
(thanks to Brian Chernicky)
Flash Myth
And finally............the View
from Number Eighty Misuse of Technology Award goes to the Kids
4 Truth site which very effectively uses Macromedia Flash animation and
music to peddle the Genesis creation myth as fact (in fact they recommend
the site's use as a teaching tool). If you can't stand saccharine tinkly
piano I advise you turn your speakers off (Pachelbel must be spinning in his
grave). My main frustration is the way the story stops short of the bit
where everyone but Noah and family are drowned - let's hope they will do a
sequel! (Best not to release it as a movie - capalert might not approve -
although on reflection violence and murder from the Good Book is
probably OK)
Quotes
" Better live a crossing-sweeper than die
and be made to talk twaddle by a ‘medium’ hired at a guinea a
seance." Thomas Henry Huxley
" The most common of all follies is to
believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of
mankind." H.L. Mencken
" When you come to a fork in the road, take
it." Yogi Berra
" Before you criticize someone, walk a mile
in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile way -
and barefoot."
Anon.
.......and from the FAQ
page at Kids 4 Truth
"Why did you make Eve come from the
ground and not Adam's side?"
"If you look closely, you will see that a rib comes out of Adam
and becomes Eve. We will always, always, always stay biblically
accurate!"
.......so that's alright then -
80 can't wait for
the Onan episode!!!
©Copyright 2001 Eighty
Ross W Sargent All rights reserved
